04/04/2010 by admin.

I just cant decide this weekend :(I’ve eaten crap most of the weekend, other than today when I’ve had breakfast and a full roast beef dinner with all the trimmings oh and a chocolate egg.An I just haven’t been able to get  a grip on what’s up with me.I’ve watched TV, played on the t’interweb and cookedI’ve also decided I’m going to do what I did with the drinking and smoking I’m going to set my self a date to start exercising again.  So wish me luck as of Tuesday the 6th of April I am on my new regime .I am sitting here and I can’t even think of things to write!Suggestions on a postcardL Out

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04/04/2010 by admin.

I prefer to call my bad side Dr Jekyll but Karen has taken to calling him Mr twatty as apparently I can be a total twat when he’s in house and I know she means well when she describes things how she does but sometimes it really cuts me up! This isn’t really fair compared to way I have behaved towards her when I am in this cycle but it’s hard.This is for her “I’m sorry”Other than taking more meds to try and calm myself or just lock myself in the house I struggle to contain him.Take this weekend for instance I have been fighting between him me and Dr Depressive and I’ve stayed in the house thus far to keep them in check all on bank holiday weekend! I know what they are doing cus I’ve had a major urge to spend money I haven’t got and I have a major urge to Drink and Smoke which wouldn’t be too bad but I haven’t done either in three months now.I stayed up until 1am last night and didn’t get up until 1pm today which really isn’t good for the bear.Its 23:40pm now and I’m not tired I’m just hoping this is going to ride itself out before the weekend as I’ve got a really busy week next week.I’ve generally got to stop eating so much crap and get healthy to get my moods in check.L out

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17/02/2010 by admin.

Hello all, I know I haven’t posted with any kind of regularity but I get chronically distracted by so many things I am like a butterfly flitting from one thing to the next.I have had so many things I wanted to post about….Let’s start with things I can remember a blogger I used to love to read is back so I am gonna go on over and catch up with her real soon and I suggest you guys do to say hello to Fauve she’s funny often to the point and sometimes needs some moral support get your asses over there.Also a blogger I follow on twitter and and via her blog is NetChick who has some exciting things going on in her life at the minute and runs the awesome weekend Meet ‘n’ GreetAnother blogger that deserves a shout cus she has the ability to make me smile, snort, and cry is Penelope get over to all these three amazing women and tell them I said to say hello….NOW – go on I’m waitingSo how’s the bipolar going well I’m on a major exercise push at the minute in an attempt to if not get rid of weight but to at least get myself under some sort of control im eating less crap (junk food sweets pie’s pastries (except for today – we had a training day and we had ordered food for the delegates so it would have been rude not to try it, it would have been!!!)We are busy at work which is really playing havoc with my stress levels and my memory is really struggling with it.I forgot to replace my Vitamin C tablets last month when they ran out and I know that has had an effect so I am gonna put a mass vitamin order, which reminds me yea gods the amount of times I have forgotten to take my meds this month has been ridiculous got ta get a handle on that I really have.All in all I am feeling better than I have in a while gotta get the stress levels down but I’m hoping the exercise will help there.Any whoBye for nowL out

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22/01/2010 by karen.

I have known Lee for almost a year, and during that time we have become very good friends and business partners.Lee told me about his Bipolar very early on, before we even considered becoming business partners, which I now know is unusual, as he generally only tells people when he has got to know them well and trusts them. So when we discussed joining forces, I read books about the subject, and found out exactly what the implications might be.After reading, I was a little worried that Lee didn’t seem to have a support network, his family seemed to be uninterested in his condition, and had even declined an invitation from his therapist to understand it better. I was also aware that Lee was following none of the recommended advice regarding diet and health to improve his condition.However serious Lee’s bipolar may be, it is part of him, but doesn’t, and shouldn’t define him, and that is what he struggles with.We have grown close over the last year, and I see him as my little brother now, and feel very protective of him. My husband and children see him as part of our family group now, which makes work feel like a family business, which is nice.I have seen Lee in manic and depressive cycles, and find both equally hard to deal with. It saddens me to see him depressed, and knowing there is nothing I can do to help, except offer support when he needs it, I tend to ignore it and carry on as normal. This is probably not the recognised way of dealing with it, but hey! Mania is worse, as he generally turns into an arsehole, and on one occasion almost caused the end of our business partnership. He can be incredibly hurtful, arrogant and rude, and although I can advise him to shut up, he is unable to, making the situation worse. I love Lee like my brother but that doesn’t stop me wanting to do him physical harm on occasion! He is twice the size of me so I would have little impact, which is probably the reason I haven’t tried, yet.Bipolar is a great excuse, many times there has been things that have needed doing and the bipolar card has been played. Doesn’t wash with me. That’s just anxiety – of course you can.Lee probably needs a more sympathetic friend than me, who will sympathise and focus on the bipolar, but I see Lee, not the bipolar, and try not to let him let it rule his life.It’s hard having a friend with bipolar, but no harder than a friend with any disability. The bipolar isn’t who he is, it’s who he lives with.

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21/01/2010 by admin.

Hello all,Im traveling down to London tomorrow to go to a breakfast networking meeting part of www.4networking.biz and I’ve got to say it’s got me a little nervous not so much the meeting which involves a 40 second elevated pitch about Beacon for Business or the 10 minute 4sight (insight into specialist field) no as terrifying as all that sounds (and believe me that used to scare me rigid) its the travelling that has me all anxious.I get anxious about whether I’ll get lost (even though I’ve checked and rechecked the maps and route) whether or not trains and tubes will be on time and how I’ll cope being away from home!  Which really hurts when I used to enjoy travelling so much and I used to be able to pick up of a weekend and disappear away somewhere.A way around it is to use some of the relaxation techniques I have learnt some good music on the trusty Ipod and to make sure I stay somewhere I feel safe and comfortable. When your out of your comfort zone try and be as relaxed as possible and keep your stress levels as low as you can it always helps.What I’ve learnt during my long road to some form of recovery though is to not live by the used to, I did this before, or I enjoyed this before the diagnosis.  Now I live for what I’ve got and who I have become and am thankful (on the days when I’m well ) for my health and my friends.So thank you all

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19/01/2010 by admin.

I have decided to write this new blog to try and get a handle on the bipolar I am living with and also where possible to try and help anyone else if possible.
I’m going to be really honest in the writing of this blog and at times probably brutally honest!At no point will I be trying to offend or upset anyone but I guarantee at some point this may happen.I’m going to be helped along the way by my close friend K who is going to guest post on occasion from a sane point of view to give you guys a perspective of how it is to cope with someone who has bipolar and how to deal with someone who has bipolar!I’m hopeful that this blog is going to be cathartic and is also going to serve as a journal or record to help me try and spot some of my triggers in order to better diagnose when I am cycling between moods and what causes the mood swings and to see if I can’t work towards keeping the mood swings at a minimum.So grab a ticket take your seat and hold on tight its bound to be a bumpy ride

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